Your Mom Friend: Maia Meaker

Maia, artist and mother to Arlo and Wyatt on the importance of self-advocacy, speaking up for others, and being your own perfect date night.

Zoe Coles

and

Maria Balk

Aug 20, 2024

THE BASICS

Talk to us about where you’re from and what you do?

I’m from Miami and live in London. I’m an artist and work as a designer and illustrator, my dream! I’m also a trained birth doula and love to work with postnatal parents.

What are your kid(s) names and ages?

Arlo Snow is 6 and Wyatt Blue is 3.

Do you have a favorite age so far? And why?

The older they get the more I enjoy it all. I love once they start talking and can communicate their personality- what they love, little anecdotes, funny questions, the way they see the world. I was not a fan of the newborn and infant stage, sorry!

What do you love about raising kids where you live? Do you wish you were raising them somewhere else?

I wish I were closer geographically to my family. London is a huge city but our neighbourhood is like a little village. It’s important to me that they recognise their neighbours and locals and that we walk around daily- to school, friend's houses, the park, the market. I hope it will give them a sense of why community is important and a feeling of independence when they're older.

Can you walk us through a typical day for you and your family? (the morning routine, drop off, work, etc.)

I walk my girls to school everyday and then head home- I schedule all my meetings and logistical / admin work in the morning so when they’re out of the way I can focus entirely on painting or illustrating until its time for the afternoon routine with them. Dad usually picks them up from school, dinner, bath, story time, bed.

What’s the vibe post-bedtime? How do you end your day?

Sometimes I’ll finish a painting or a commission, but otherwise it’s either extreme: Real Housewives on Bravo or Joe Dispenza meditations :)

Where are you finding creative inspiration these days?

Everywhere :) antique pottery, my kids drawings, even TikTok. It could be a combination of colours, someone’s body mannerism, even a phrase I read on a street poster.

What grounds you inside and outside of motherhood?

Having a career. I have to feel like I’m a woman outside of Momhood or I feel depressed and lose myself. I have to be creative daily and professionally assertive and successful, it turns me on.

What does YOU TIME look like?

Muay Thai one on one sessions with my trainer, Sunday morning pole class, seeing and giggling with friends.

MOTHERHOOD

Looking back to your early days of motherhood or postpartum, what do you remember most about it? What stuck?

The postpartum depression, the agonising loneliness - how hard and eternal and raw it all felt.

What (if any) advice would you give yourself as a new mom?

I would hold her tight, I would tell her she’s enough and worthy.

What’s the best advice someone else has given you about motherhood?

That children are not an extension of ourselves and owe us nothing. They are their own universe with their own wisdom and own journeys and we have a lot to learn from them. (Read: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran)

What do you think is the one thing no one really tells (or warns) you about motherhood?

That you will be perpetually confronted by your own triggers and traumas on a daily basis. That is both beautiful and exhausting.

What do you enjoy the most about being a mom?

That it's not about me anymore. That they are sacred little seeds here to remind me to be humble, to be present, to be courageous, to be kind. They remind me how small my part is in the fabric of life but likewise how interconnected we all are - both things are so beautiful.

What would you say is your greatest challenge in motherhood?

Patience. And confronting my shadow - children mirror the best and the worst in you.

What does ‘giving up’ or ‘giving in’ look like for you?

Screen time. Porridge with honey for dinner. Letting them sleep in my bed when they crawl in middle of the night. 'Giving in' is a loving act of self compassion.

Which values or lessons are most important to you to pass onto your kid(s)?

Speaking up for what is right is a really big one for me. Sticking up for someone who needs a friend or against a bully. Using your voice to advocate for others or yourself or your body is really big in our home. Body autonomy is something I’ve taught them from infancy. I explain to them that it may not always feel comfortable to speak up and it can even feel a little scary and lonely - but when your belly brain tells you to speak up - you speak UP.

What do you enjoy the most about being a mom?

The little things like their hand dimples, the way they drag you into the present moment for better or worse, that you can easily say they are the best thing you've ever created. The sacredness of it all.

What would you say is your greatest challenge in motherhood?

Letting go of control. Knowing they will experience heartbreak.

COMMUNITY

What does your support system look like? (ex: childcare, friendships, mother or mother figure, bodyworkers, mentors, healers, therapists, etc.)

I entered Recovery for addiction when my first child was a few months old. Though it was a difficult time, recovery has become one of the most joyful, satisfying and fulfilling part of my daily life. The parents I have met in recovery have become family, and there are so many I look up to for everything kid related. Both my sister and my best friend - neither has kids, both are the best Mommies to my girls. My PTSD and Trauma therapist I’ve worked with weekly for 4 years. My Sponsor. My trainer. My father who teaches me to paint every year. Lately my older siblings. My cousins.

Do you have any favorite parenting resources (podcasts, books, people)?

ME. I love all the things we all love but ultimately only you know your children best.

How do you express love (to your children, partner, family, friends) and how do you like to receive it? (This can be the same as your love language)

I paint for the people I love. My kids, friends, family.. they all have works of mine that express my gratitude for knowing and loving them.

How has your relationship with your partner evolved throughout this journey thus far?

Having children inevitably changed our dynamic, and after 9 years married we are currently co-parenting. This too, can be a beautiful journey. If any other mamas are going through it please reach out, there is support and you are never alone.

How have you made your mom friends?

Recovery, parks, artists mamas and we connect on both topics.

What's the number one thing you seek from your mom friends? (i.e. guidance, resonance, validation, mirroring, etc.)

Just someone to listen. I think it’s heartbreaking that as mothers when we do vent, we feel the need to always start the sentence with “I LOVE my kids more than anything, BUT…” We all adore our kids more than life itself. Being tired, tapped out, spent, is all human and normal. We just need to be heard within a safe space.

What does your ideal mom’s night out look like?

A beautiful home cooked dinner at a friends with no kids. I don’t go out much at all, but thats not the same as not wanting to be invited! IYKYK

STYLE

Did your style change when you became a mother and if so, how?

My style became much more practical. I love clothes that are utilitarian and hard wearing, not only because it lends itself to little greasy hands but something about that feels cool to me.

What do you wear to drop-off? / What do you wear for a weekend hang?

I stole all my father’s 90's elastic waist sweatpants and wear a rotation of them for drop off. Usually with a sweatshirt, a waffle top if it’s cold, Maryjane flats or sneakers and a baseball cap.

Do you have a uniform? If so, what does it consist of?

Baseball caps for morning hair and for the rain. Giant jackets, awkward length shorts, tiny old tshirts. I love men’s corduroy trousers that fit super oversized cinched with a belt and rolled over at the waist several times. Anything bizarre.

Favorite shops? For yourself and your kids?

Vintage (Etsy or eBay) for them and me. Hand me downs from cousins or family and friends are the best for the kids - then passing them on for more life wear feels really special. I have pieces that my friends older sister’s kids wore, then her kids wore, then my kids wore, and then I’ve passed on. That’s about 6 kids for one pair of overalls - and a totally different friend of mine’s boys wear them now!

Best vacation spots with the family? Where’d you go, what’d you do, where’d you stay? Anywhere you’d like to go?

We traveled to Tangier with friends and their kids and it was so much fun and the kids loved it. There’s a beautiful house you can rent on Airbnb that belongs to a local artist that my friend rented during our stay and it was tiled with local tiles and local artisanal art and furniture - a dream! Otherwise, just city walking, letting them fall asleep on our laps while we eat out, naps in the stroller while we explore.. letting them integrate into OUR life.

RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS

Favorite last purchase for yourself?

Snakeskin cowboy boots by Paris,Texas. And I bought some skincare products from an incredible Ayurvedic brand KAMA that my friend in London turned me onto.

And for your kids?

I spent a stupid amount of money on a ton of helium balloons delivered to our home the night before Arlo’s birthday. They both came down for breakfast and LOVED IT and they were part of her present. Recommend!

Fav podcast?

On Being with Krista Tippett, To Be Magnetic, The Great Women Artist Podcast with Katy Hessel, Where Should we Begin with Esther Perel

Favorite local restaurant?

Papo’s Bagels in Hackney for a weekend breakfast or The Hawke Pub in Victoria Park for a Sunday Roast.

Fav place for self-care?

My bed.

Ideal date night?

Myself.

Last book you read?

The Cost of Living by Deborah Levy, and Splinters by Leslie Jamison.

Something you make your kid that they will actually eat?

Hard boiled eggs with Soldiers (toast), Chicken Katsu with 'Sticky’ rice (white rice), ’Snack Plates’ (chopped up cucumber, veggies, hummus, some fruits like berries, some cheese etc).

Desert Island- Products you can’t live without (personal and baby)

Homeopathy, for myself but especially for the kids whenever they're getting sick which is always. I’m also obsessed with a brand called JUST that my older cousins turned me on to. They have Arnica cream for the kids for bumps and bruises, Witchhazel toner for when they get sun kissed, and all kinds of creams for everyone. There’s also an all natural immunity powder by NEEDED that is amazing year round for adults and kids, you just mix with water. My library of books.